Navigating the transition after your child ages out of early intervention can be an overwhelming time for parents.

Help Your Child De-Stress

Problem behaviors can be challenging to manage, especially when techniques you’ve used before no longer work. When there is a barrier of communication, it feels nearly impossible to resolve the issue and get to the root cause of what is causing a meltdown or tantrum. Keep in mind that your child is also human and just like we have bad days sometimes, they have bad days too. Regardless of which form the problem behavior may present itself, here are some basic generic techniques on how to handle them.

The first one is regulation. If your child is on the floor screaming, crying, and kicking, allow some time for them to let out some of that frustration. When you notice them start to calm, model deep breaths and prompt them to imitate you, then identify or have them identify how they are feeling. Once they’ve done so, reassure them that you’re on their team and want to work towards turning that feeling around. Sensory input also helps to regulate your child and distract them from what they were feeling upset by. Provide squeezes, rub their back, or offer them a hug. If you have tools such as a stress ball or fidget toy, encourage them to utilize it and count to 10. If there is something you know is reinforcing like eating a cookie, playing with a particular toy, or listening to music, bring that up as an option as well.

Help Yourself De-Stress

Stress is a normal part of life. It’s there to remind you that you have deadlines to meet, pressures you to perform in a timely manner, and functions to keep you alert and attuned to what could be a threat or not a threat. On the other hand, too much or chronic stress has been shown to lead to serious health issues. Was there ever a time when you felt like you may have been experiencing too much stress? Your hair started to fall out, you were more curt with your partner or family members, or you experienced loss of appetite, difficulty breathing or difficulty sleeping. We’ve all been there, but it’s important to recognize that some of these side effects are not normal and are actually a sign that you need to start taking steps towards defusing that stress before it becomes a chronic issue.

Dealing with stress can be challenging, especially when you don’t have time to slow down, but finding the proper techniques to deal with stress will be beneficial for your longevity and quality of life in the long run.

Here are two methods on how to de-stress, based on how much time you have available.

One method is to meditate or utilize a guided meditation to deal with stress. Meditation is about being mindful, it’s about focusing your mind on your breathing, taking a step back from the racing thoughts, and being fully present in that moment. A great way to meditate is to find a quiet place, sit or lie down, and allot 5-10 minutes to be in this deep meditative state. Focus on how your body feels, focus on taking deep breaths, and let your mind wander but don’t be judgmental of where your mind takes you. Recognize that there are plenty of things you can and cannot control and tell yourself to let go of the things you cannot control. If there is something you can control, think of how you want to handle it. It’s also always nice to use this time to show gratitude. Think of 2-3 things you are grateful for instead of focusing on the things that are difficult or making you stressed. Gratitude goes a long way and practicing that positive self-talk can simply put you in a better state of mind. One little hack is to hop on YouTube and type in “Guided Meditations for Stress” and there are usually a great deal of helpful, calming videos where you can just plug in your headphones and immerse yourself.

Our second tip is to engage in pleasurable activities every day, whether it’s going for a walk, doing yoga, exercising, going to the beach, spending time with your pet, baking, or cooking something new. What these all have in common is that while there are usually little demands or deadlines that come along with doing these activities, they can all be done at your own leisure. As you are doing these activities, let the activity distract your mind and be present in what you’re using to occupy your time. The thing you’re stressed about will probably still be there when you get back, but make a conscious choice to tell that stressful thing that right now you’re not available. As a result, when you do return to your routine, you may find that you feel a bit more at ease about the situation. The more important part is to realize that you have the ability to control the things you can control, like your reaction to whatever it is that is stressing you,

Lastly, whatever it is that is causing you stress, it’s not going to last forever and you’d be surprised how sometimes life bends itself around and favors that thing you were so worried about. Sometimes it even gets resolved on its own, you get a second chance, or you realize that path wasn’t one you were meant to go down. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by problem/challenging behaviors, but don’t forget to be kind to yourself!

Finding the right Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) program can often be a little stressful and overwhelming. These are a couple of helpful tips and tricks to look out for when finding a great program.

Who is part of the team?

Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA): Individuals who completed a qualifying Master’s Program and participated in clinical hours to become approved by the Behavior Analyst Certification Board (BACB). These individuals:

• Uses evidence-based Applied Behavior Analysis assessments and interventions to create individualized goals to enhance skill development.
• Create a Behavior Intervention Plan based on a conducted Functional Behavior Assessment.
• Conducts Parent Trainings.
• Supervises the Registered Behavior Technician in their application.

Registered Behavior Technician (RBT): Individuals who have completed a Board Certified 40-hour program and passed an exam by the Behavior Analyst Certification Board. These individuals:

• Implement Applied Behavior Analysis interventions created by the Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA).
• Receive ongoing supervision by the BCBA.
• Gets reviewed by the BACB Annually.

Developmental Therapist (DT): Individuals who have completed a qualifying Master’s Program and are part of the therapy case manager team who are experts in child development as a whole. Developmental Therapy may not necessarily be available at other agencies. These individuals:

• Identify where a child’s functional performance meaningfully impact a family’s life and ability to participate in daily routines.
• Use role play and functional play schemes to enhance a child’s volition and motivation when participating in recreational activities.

Why choose ABA at Blue Bird Day?

 1. Multi-Disciplinary

Here at Blue Bird Day, ABA therapists collaborate with other disciplines to create a holistic intervention program for your growing kiddo. We work together with Speech, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Social Work, and Nutritional Therapists to improve all skills.

 2. Group and Individual

Blue Bird Day offers a unique blend of individual and group services to work alongside your child in a variety of scenarios that are similar to everyday situations they might encounter such as:

• A playground
• Family game night
• Individual functional play
• A school setting
• Play dates
• Grocery Shopping with the family

 3. Multi Environment

We acknowledge that your children participate in different environments, and so our services can accompany you:

• In clinic
• In home
• Virtual (when applicable)

Learn more about ABA at Blue Bird Day from the recording of our Beyond the Nest parent caregiver training or reach out to us directly for more information.

Building language and understanding of “Verbal Behavior” is commonly used by Board Certified Behavior Analysts and Registered Behavior Technicians in Applied Behavior Analysis to increase language, adaptability, and generalization, and to decrease some challenging behaviors overall. This occurs by building and teaching skills within the world around children. Then, when they are presented with language or certain tasks within daily environments, they will have confidence in completing them and challenging behaviors will be less likely. 

As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, the generalization of language is a daily treatment focus for each child and family. I am often asked, “How can we incorporate this in the home?” or “What activities can we do in the home to support their goals?” Keep in mind that every child has different interests; learning tasks should be entertaining and fun to keep your child engaged! 

St. Patrick’s Day is a great time to work on colors and the rainbow with your child. Colors are an important skill set for children to learn due to exposure to them in academic settings, as well as serving to increase their language. For instance, a challenging behavior may be avoided if a child is able to request for “the red lollipop” or even “red” when asked, “What color do you want?” 

A fun activity in the home that targets colors can be working with your child to engage in sorting favorite toys, such as Legos. Start with just a few colors and add more as they grow more confident! You can make this easier by having one different color block, handing them a block, and having them “match the color” by stacking on the similar color. You can also hold out two options in your hand while playing Legos for the child to choose and match correctly. 

If your child is more interested in sensory play such as shaving cream, paint, or water play, incorporate colors into this play! Mix shaving cream with food coloring, giving cars baths with different colors of water, or putting different colors of paint in various cups. For children with limited language, you can again continue to build skills by asking, “What color do you want?” before handing them the next cup or color. You can make this easier by asking your child to “show you where blue is” or “give you the blue.” 

If your child has mastered labeling plain colors of items, you can have them put colors of favorite toys in rainbow order and label them by color, or work on mixing colors. Remember to be creative and have fun! Our world is made of colors! 

The Blue Bird Day team of multidisciplinary team of therapists is here to help you incorporate our clinic work at home! For more specific Behavior Therapy activities tailored to your child’s preferences and treatment goals, please contact your Therapy Case Manager. 

Therapists and teachers often hear this common phrase from caregivers: “If only my child were like this at home!” It’s no secret our clients often behave differently in the home compared to the therapy environment. Much of this has to do with differences in expectations, the influence of peers, structure, and routine. But this therapeutic environment doesn’t just come together like magic; it takes a lot of work from everyone on that client’s team. But, don’t worry! There are many strategies that therapists use in the clinic that caregivers can implement at home to reflect a more structured therapeutic environment.

Schedules: Setting the Scene for Success 

Children thrive when they understand expectations and are given an environment and structure to succeed. Start by keeping common routines, like getting ready and going to bed, at the same or closely similar times each day. Keep these routines very structured, with the same kinds of things occurring each time. For example, bedtime will always be at 8. So, at 7 we take a bath, then pjs, then brush teeth, then story time, then snuggles with mom and dad, then lights out. Written and visual schedules will further help this process, as children can cross things off and see their progress through the schedule as they go along. This predictability and routine will help things move along smoothly! 

First/Thens and Timers: Knowing What to Expect 

Sometimes a simple shift in the way we say and present things can make all the difference. Transition warnings, timers, and first/thens are excellent and easy tools for home. For example, maybe hair brushing is a non-preferred activity. So, when it’s time for hair brushing, we can say, “First brush hair, then read a book.” Putting a more preferred activity after a non-preferred activity often helps with the motivation to complete that activity. Timers also can be useful. “We will brush hair for 5 minutes, then all done.” The child can watch this timer and understand that this non-preferred activity has an endpoint, which makes them much more likely to complete the activity without protest. Meeting a child where they are and telling them what to expect helps them to trust us; this helps them listen to us when it matters most! 

Star Charts and Token Boards: Motivation Helpers 

Sometimes certain expectations and routines may be especially challenging, and our children may need a little more incentive. Token boards and reward charts can help with this. For example, a token board may look like this: 

The child would choose a reward that they don’t often have access to, like a treat or an iPad video, and “earn” that reward by completing tasks or keeping safe hands/feet/body while completing tasks. Children can also use sticker charts throughout the week and earn rewards at the end for completing certain routines, tasks, and keeping good behavior or good listening. 

Bring It Home: You Can Do This! 

The strategies above can help your child achieve success in the home environment, and it’s important to customize these based on your unique family routines and goals. Our team of multi-disciplinary therapists are here to help, and if you’d like more specific advice based on your child’s individual goals and strengths, please reach out to your child’s therapy team! 

In this month’s “Beyond the Nest” caregiver workshop, our staff walked us through the steps for developing consistent routines while maintaining flexibility to support kids as they learn at their own pace. For a full-length video of this presentation, please visit: https://youtu.be/ZOSAWQ_AwAc

We all have routines and predictability schedules in our daily lives- they occur so often that it’s easy to overlook how much routines structure our days. Imagine driving to work on your normal route, but there’s unexpected construction that requires you to detour. You’re not sure how far down the street the construction ends or where you have to turn and the traffic behind you is quickly building. You’re likely feeling anxious about running late to work, frustrated by the amount of road construction in Chicago, and worried about a possible fender bender.

Routines are important because they help us know what’s going on and what’s expected of us. They promote independence and confidence by helping us know what steps we need to follow to accomplish tasks. For our kiddos, routines increase on-task behaviors, reduce problem behaviors, and aid in the development of functional skills to navigate their environment.

When developing routines for kids, it’s important to list every step and use simple pictures that help explain each step.

For example, here are the steps for a Hand Washing Routine:

1. Enter washroom
2. Go to sink
3. Turn on tap
4. Wet hands
5. 1 pump soap
6. Scrub hands
7. Turn off tap
8. 1 paper towel
9. Dry hands
10. All done

How do I establish a new routine with my child?

Take it one step at a time and celebrate the small victories- learning new things is scary and difficult and it’s easy to get frustrated or discouraged. If your child can only complete the first step in a routine, give them positive encouragement for completing that step. Once step one is mastered and consistently completed, add step two and keep the praise coming to prevent discouragement. By breaking things down and helping our little ones, you can help them slowly build confidence with each new step.

What if my child acts out or refuses to follow a routine?

Complete consistency is great in theory, but not applicable to daily life. Things happen, and we all have rough days where we just need a break. It’s important to recognize these tough days when they come along and give space to allow your routines to be flexible.

What if a routine needs to be adapted? For example, my child’s preferred restroom needs repair and they refuse to use a different restroom.

Change is scary for us all, but it’s important to highlight similarities, exactly what is staying the same, so your child can adapt their routine to a new location. For the example above, remind them that the toilet is still white, the flush works the same, and the sink still has hot and cold water. Giving your child these details will help shift their focus from what is different and confusing towards what is recognizable and familiar.

Having trouble establishing or maintaining routines?

Talk to your child’s team- our staff is here and happy to help however we can! We may also recommend additional ABA services with a BCBA to help establish routines that you can then follow and reinforce at home.

Turn-taking is an important skill for children to learn as they will use it throughout their lives.  There are several ways to promote turn-taking behavior amongst children.  Some techniques to practice turn-taking behavior will take more practice than others, however, they are all equally as important in promoting the skill of turn-taking. 

1. Social stories:  Introducing the idea to your children about turn-taking through stories can be beneficial.  These stories that can be created on the topic of turn-taking can break down what turn-taking is and give examples for the children to be exposed to.  An example of a social story on turn-taking could walk you through a story of a child and their sibling/peer playing their favorite game together.  It would describe how first it is one child’s turn to roll the dice and then it is the other child’s turn to roll the dice.  This story would not only demonstrate the act of turn-taking but also the positive emotions of the children playing the game together. 
2. Modeling: Utilizing modeling to demonstrate to your children turn-taking while playing is another useful technique to promote turn-taking behaviors.  An example of this could be you and another adult sharing a ball that bounces.  You will say the words “My turn” and bounce the ball a few times.  Then you will look at the other adult and say “Your turn” and proceed to hand the ball to that person.  You can also incorporate modeling into daily life activities like watching television.  You can use the remote first while saying “My turn” and then a few minutes later hand it to the other person and say “Your turn”. 
3. Language and Gestures: You can emphasize the language used when taking turns (my turn, your turn).  By putting an emphasis on these two phrases, you are putting meaning behind them and teaching it to the children the more you use it.  You can also utilize gestures and put your hand on your chest to show that it is “my turn” and also point to/touch their chest when signaling it is “your turn”. 
4. Incorporating games: Incorporate multiple-person games into your day to promote the practice of turn-taking.  These games could be simple ones like throwing a ball back and forth or I spy to more complex ones in which you need to wait longer to have a turn again (Candy Land, Trouble etc.). 

Promoting Turn-Taking With Peers. (2017, March 28). Retrieved from https://www.cdchk.org/parent-tips/promoting-turn-taking-with-peers/

When thinking about how to foster anti-racism with your children, there are many different ways that you can start at a young age.  You can approach the subject matter with kids through play, education, and social settings.  Below are some tips on how to foster anti-racism with your children and toddlers. 

Play: 

Prioritize racially diverse toys: There are many toys out there that feature people with different skin colors. Some of these toys include action figures, dolls, puzzles, and crayons, and coloring books.

Education: 

Books:  Incorporate a variety of books that include people with different skin colors that are from different cultures all around the world.  This will introduce and educate your children on different cultures.  There are many books on specific cultures and races individually but there are also books that talk about everyone coming together as one and being inclusive with one another.  After reading these books about different racial backgrounds and cultures, ask your child questions about the books and start conversations with them.  At early ages, you may just be reading to them but as they get older, here are some questions you could ask. 

• How did you feel when reading the book? 
• What characters could you relate to? 
• How do you think you might feel if you were in the character’s situation? 
• What did you learn about the characters that were different from you? 

Social: 

In your everyday life, introduce yourself and your children to others of all different skin colors and cultures.  Another way to introduce your children to different cultures is trying different cuisines and cultural traditions from an early age. 

Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for getting into EVERYTHING. Emptying bookshelves, dumping toy chests, and getting their little hands on anything they can reach. It is amazing how fast a little one can burn through all the toys on the toy shelf! This is largely because, like all other developmental skills, preschooler’s attention spans are still growing and developing. In order to engage with our little ones effectively, it is important to meet them where they are (i.e., where their attention span is). Expecting a preschooler to independently attend to a single activity for more than 20 minutes is sure to bring about a variety of difficulties. But supporting a 3-year-old during a 5-minute activity can bring about the quality type of engagement that supports language and cognitive development. 

So, what can we realistically expect from our two, three, and four-year-olds in terms of attention? Studies suggest that the average preschooler’s attention span is between three and six minutes. This means most preschoolers can attend to a single activity, like playing with cars or stacking blocks, for 3-6 minutes independently. Older preschoolers, 4 and 5-year-olds, have a slightly higher attention span, approximately 6-10 minutes. These figures are slightly increased, but still generally below 15 minutes when given direct adult support.  This is an important thing to keep in mind when planning activities and setting expectations for our little ones. 

Here are some simple ways to support your child’s attention span and appropriately encourage its growth: 

1. 
   

   Provide frequent breaks 

If your activity involves sitting or being still, be sure to incorporate frequent motor breaks to allow your child to get some of their excess energy out and to provide physical regulation. These can be quick dance parties, a tickle break, or an interactive yoga session! Remember, many tasks can involve movement! Playing a game of tag, hide–and–go–seek, or simple imitation games demands the same attentional skills as tabletop or floor activities. Speech tip: Narrate your actions! Use this time to practice one and two-step directions and imitation. 

2. 
   

   Read the signs your child is giving you 

If you see your child fidgeting in her seat, turning her body away from the activity, or staring off into space, listen to her nonverbal language and provide her with a break! Speech tip: Give your child language for what they are feeling: “You look like you need a break”, “I can see that you need to move around!” 

3. 
   Choose activities that have a definitive endpoint 

Puzzles and simple games are a great way to engage your child in an activity that has a clear beginning and endpoint. Your child may be more likely to stick with an activity or respond to redirection, knowing they are approaching a final endpoint where the task will be complete. Speech tip: Help them see this endpoint by using language such as “Two more turns until we are all done,” or “First find the puzzle piece with Micky’s head, and then our puzzle is all done!” 

4. 
   

   Keep activities age-appropriate 

Introducing a game or puzzle that is too complicated for your child will likely cause them to lose their attention more quickly. Much of this may be trial and error, and that is okay! Try to find that sweet spot where the activity is simple and engaging but can provide opportunities to practice new skills or learn a new language. Speech tip: Keep your verbal directions short and simple. Model the activity for your child prior to asking them to do it on their own. Narrate the steps you take in your activity. 

5. Incorporate your child’s unique interests 

Just like adults, preschoolers are more likely to engage with a new activity if they are genuinely interested in it. Utilize your child’s interest when planning new play topics and activities. Incorporate your child’s favorite characters, like PJ Masks or Daniel Tiger, into your next play session. Speech tip: This is a great opportunity to model language concepts such as pronouns and modifiers/descriptions. 

6. 
   

   Be mindful of the demands that are being placed on your child 

Children’s attention spans fatigue more quickly whenever we challenge them with a cognitive, communication, physical or behavioral demand. This is especially important if your child has sensory differences. Remember: Sitting still is considered a significant demand for a preschooler.   

7. 
   

   Sleep and health 

Poor sleep and health dramatically affect the attention span of both adults and our little ones. Ensure healthy sleeping and lifestyle habits to promote healthy attention and learning! 

As we learn to respect our preschooler’s attention span and use appropriate measures to meet them where they are, more of our time together is spent in meaningful interaction that develops language and cognition skills rather than in behavior management. Remember to have fun and enjoy your preschooler’s growing mind! 

References: 

Gaertner, B. M., Spinrad, T. L., & Eisenberg, N. (2008). Focused Attention in Toddlers: Measurement, Stability, and Relations to Negative Emotion and Parenting. Infant and child development, 17(4), 339–363. https://doi.org/10.1002/ICD.580 

Ruff, H. A., & Capozzoli, M. C. (2003). Development of attention and distractibility in the first 4 years of life. Developmental Psychology, 39(5), 877–890. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.39.5.877