We understand how overwhelming it can feel when your child experiences intense emotions and can’t calm down. It happens over and over. Your morning routine often ends in tears. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Discover how teaching your child to safely navigate their biggest emotions can transform exhausting daily meltdowns into managed reactions and behaviors.

Self-regulation is a child’s ability to manage and control their emotions and behaviors in response to various situations. This essential skill allows children to recognize and to understand their feelings, helping them respond in a calm and appropriate manner.

The concept of self-regulation has evolved to include sensory and behavioral aspects. This comprehensive approach helps children manage their feelings and actions. But, it takes time and patience for preschoolers and kindergarteners to develop these abilities. This is no simple task for young children.

With over a decade of experience in early childhood therapeutic education, we have partnered with countless families to help their children develop strategies to self regulate and build confidence.

Our goal is to provide you with the tools and insights you need. This article will provide you with some general strategies to use.

If you would like more personalized insights, contact us today! We are here to support you every step of the way.

Why Self-Regulation Matters

Developing self-regulation is a crucial part of your child’s unique journey. It’s the foundation for how they interact with the world around them. When children learn to manage their inner experiences, they unlock potential across all areas of their lives.

Here is why focusing on self-regulation for kids is so deeply important:

Cognitive Development

Self-regulation helps children concentrate, follow instructions, and complete tasks efficiently. When a child can filter out distractions and focus on the activity in front of them, their ability to learn and solve problems grows exponentially.

Social Skills and Peer Relationships

This skill encourages sharing, cooperation, and empathy. These social building blocks help children build and maintain healthy relationships with their peers. When a child can regulate their own frustration, they are better equipped to take turns and play collaboratively.

Emotional Well-being

Effective self-regulation can significantly reduce anxiety and frustration, promoting a calmer demeanor. This emotional stability is vital for overall mental health. When children know how to soothe themselves, they feel safer and more secure in their environment.

Academic Success

Enhanced focus and engagement in learning activities lead to better performance in school. Children with strong emotional development and self-regulation skills are often more successful academically because they can sit, listen, and absorb new information without becoming easily overwhelmed.

Reducing Outbursts and Tantrums

Young children experience emotions intensely and may not fully understand them. This makes the development of self-regulation essential in preventing outbursts and fostering positive interactions.

Instead of relying on a meltdown to communicate their needs, children learn to use safer, more constructive outlets.

Encouraging self-regulation in your child will help them thrive both socially and academically, setting a foundation for a balanced and well-adjusted life. Here are eight proven preschool self-regulation strategies for parents and caregivers to support their children.

Proven Self-Regulation Strategies

Practice Mindfulness and Breathing Strategies

Mindfulness does not have to mean sitting silently on a mat for hours. For young children, it simply means focusing on the present moment and learning how to take deep, calming breaths.

Deep Breaths: Use pinwheels or blow bubbles to practice taking deep breaths with your child. This simple activity helps them focus and calm down. When a child takes a deep breath in to blow a bubble, they are naturally slowing their heart rate and signaling to their brain that they are safe.

Yoga Poses: Download kid-friendly applications or play interactive games to introduce fun yoga exercises. These poses can help your child manage stress, improve concentration, and build body awareness.

Practicing a “tree pose” or “downward dog” gives them a physical focal point when their emotions feel too big or hard to control.

Play Regulation Games

Play is the natural language of children. You can teach complex self-regulation skills through simple, everyday games that require listening and impulse control.

Simple Games: Classic games like Red Light, Green Light; Simon Says; Duck, Duck, Goose; Freeze Dance; and Hide and Seek are powerful tools. These games teach kids how to follow directions, take turns, and control their body movements. When your child stops dancing during Freeze Dance, they are actively practicing how to hit the “pause” button on their impulses.

Heavy Work Activities

Engaging in heavy work activities that push or pull against the body provides deep stimulus and input to a child’s muscles and joints. This sensory input is deeply grounding and helps calm the nervous system.

Activating muscles and joints in a rigorous fashion has a calming effect and helps children manage their energy levels.

Seated Heavy Work: Squeeze stress balls. Play with playdough or therapeutic putty. Use resistance bands wrapped around the legs of a chair so your child can bounce their feet against them while sitting.

Movement Heavy Work: Try wall or chair push-ups. Have your child push or pull heavy objects, like a medicine ball or a laundry basket full of clothes. Jump on a trampoline. Do jumping jacks. Perform animal walks, such as bear crawls, crab walks, horse gallops, and frog jumps. These movements help organize your child’s brain and body.

Utilize Oral Motor Heavy Work

The mouth is a powerful organizing center for the nervous system. Chewing and sucking provide sensory input that helps children self-soothe, focus, and regulate their emotional state.

Chewing: Offer crunchy snacks like carrots, apple slices, or pretzels. The physical resistance of chewing hard foods can be incredibly regulating.

Straws: Encourage drinking thick liquids like smoothies or applesauce through a straw. The effort required to pull the liquid provides excellent heavy work for the mouth.

Chewable Accessories: Use chewable bracelets or necklaces specifically designed for oral sensory needs. These give your child a safe, appropriate outlet for chewing.

Encourage Pretend Play

Pretend play allows children to explore and understand emotions safely, with guidance from trusted adults.

Role Play: Act out different emotions in a non-stressful environment. Engage with your child in pretend play to show self-regulation strategies. For example, you can have two stuffed animals experience a conflict over a toy. Model how one stuffed animal takes a deep breath and uses their words. Your child learns empathy and problem-solving through these playful scenarios.

Modify the Environment for Calmness

Sometimes, the world is simply too loud, too bright, or too fast for a child. Modifying their physical environment can prevent sensory overload and emotional dysregulation.

Cozy Corner Setup: Create a quiet corner with a bean bag chair or soft pillows. Offer noise-canceling headphones to reduce background noise. Play calming music softly. Dim the lights and reduce visual clutter by storing toys in closed bins. Provide deep pressure through hugs, hand squeezes, or a weighted blanket. A calming space helps children retreat and relax when they feel overwhelmed, teaching them that it is okay to take a break.

Develop an Emotional Vocabulary

A rich emotional vocabulary allows children to express their feelings clearly and seek help when needed. If a child does not have the words to say “I am frustrated,” they will show you with their behavior instead.

Teach Feelings: Help your child learn words to describe their emotions beyond just “happy” or “sad.” Introduce words like frustrated, excited, nervous, or disappointed. Use emotion-themed games and storybooks to enhance their understanding. Point out how characters in books might be feeling and connect it back to your child’s experiences.

Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, despite our best efforts at home, children need specialized guidance to thrive. Partnering with your family is our shared goal.

Consultation: Reach out to pediatric specialists, such as occupational therapists, who utilize structured, evidence-based approaches to help your child. Programs that use social stories, sensory diets, and visual schedules offer tailored support for your child’s unique needs.

Children do not need to be “regulated” all day long. It’s completely normal for them to have moments of dysregulation. What matters is building their toolkit so they can navigate those moments with increasing independence.

Common Challenges

As you implement these preschool self-regulation strategies, you may encounter specific hurdles. Here’s how to handle some of the most common challenges families face.

Overwhelm from Sensory Input

Many children struggle to regulate because their sensory systems are processing too much information at once.

Solution: Create a sensory-friendly environment with reduced stimuli.

For instance, if your child finds it difficult to concentrate when there is too much noise, try setting up a quiet space at home where they can focus on table tasks or puzzles. You could use noise-canceling headphones or play soft, calming music to help them stay relaxed and focused.

Difficulty Following Instructions

When a child is learning to regulate, multi-step directions can feel impossible to process.

Solution: Break tasks into manageable steps and use visual aids. If your child struggles with completing daily routines, break the task down into smaller steps.

Instead of saying, “Clean your room,” you can say, “First, pick up your blocks. Then, make your bed.” Visual aids like chore charts with pictures can also guide them through each task smoothly.

Impulsivity and Acting Out

Impulse control is a massive part of a kindergartener’s emotional development. Grabbing toys, shouting, or running away are common signs that a child’s impulses are moving faster than their regulatory skills.

Solution: Teach and practice mindfulness techniques regularly when the child is already calm.

To manage impulsivity, introduce mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing or simple yoga poses. Practice these techniques together as a family daily, first thing in the morning or before bed, to help your child develop better self-control over time.

Struggles with Transitions

Moving from a preferred activity (like playing with blocks) to a non-preferred activity (like brushing teeth) often triggers meltdowns.

Solution: Use visual schedules and timers to prepare for changes. If transitions between activities are a challenge, create a visual schedule that outlines the daily routine.

Use timers to signal when one activity is ending and another is starting. For example, set a timer for 5 minutes before screen time ends to prepare your child for the transition to dinner.

Limited Emotional Vocabulary

If a child cannot name what they’re feeling, they cannot effectively ask for the support they need to regulate.

Solution: Regularly engage in discussions about feelings and use emotion charts. Encourage your child to express their feelings by integrating emotion charts into daily conversations.

For instance, every evening, ask them to point to an emotion on the chart and share why they felt that way during the day. This practice helps build their emotional vocabulary and fosters open communication.

Recommended Tools for Self-Regulation for Kids

To help incorporate these strategies into your daily life, consider utilizing simple, accessible tools. Having a dedicated “calm down kit” filled with these items can give your child a tangible way to practice their self-regulation skills.

• Pinwheels: Excellent for teaching deep, controlled exhalations.
• Kid-Friendly Yoga Apps: Interactive ways to learn body awareness and calming poses.
• Stress Balls: Perfect for seated heavy work and tactile input.
• Therapeutic Putty: Provides strong resistance for the hands and fingers, serving as a grounding activity.
• Chewable Necklaces: Safe oral motor tools that prevent children from chewing on their clothing or unsafe objects.
• Weighted Blankets: Offer deep pressure therapy that calms the nervous system (always ensure the weight is appropriate for your child’s size).
• Emotion Flashcards: Visual tools to help build that crucial emotional vocabulary.

Partnering With Your Family for Long-Term Success

By implementing these strategies, you will not only help your child develop essential self-regulation skills, but also foster a supportive, empathy-driven environment for their overall growth.

Remember, consistency and patience are crucial. Celebrate their progress, no matter how small, and keep encouraging them along the way. Your efforts today will have a lasting impact on their ability to manage their emotions and behaviors effectively throughout their lives.

With over a decade of experience in early childhood therapeutic education, we’ve seen firsthand how transforming potential into progress changes a child’s life. We know that the journey of parenting a child with neurodiverse learning needs is paved with both challenges and beautiful triumphs.

Your next step is simple. If you’re looking for specialized guidance to support your child’s emotional and behavioral development, begin by integrating one or two of these strategies into your daily routine this week. Observe how your child responds, and celebrate the small victories together.

If you would like more personalized insights, contact us today! We’re here to support you every step of the way.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take for my child to develop self-regulation skills?
Every child is unique, so the time it takes to build self-regulation skills varies from child to child. Consistency, practice, and patience are key. You may notice small improvements within a few weeks, but building lasting self-regulation often takes months or longer. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.

What should I do if my child continues to struggle with meltdowns despite trying these strategies?
It’s normal for children to need extra support as they learn new skills. If frequent meltdowns continue, consider seeking guidance from an occupational therapist or pediatric behavioral specialist. A professional can help identify underlying challenges, offer individualized strategies, and guide your family through the process.

How can I help my child use these strategies independently?
Practice each strategy together when your child is calm, and model using them yourself. Offer gentle reminders and positive reinforcement as your child starts to use self-regulation skills on their own. Over time, your child will become more confident in handling big feelings and transitions independently.

What is self-regulation? 

• Self-regulation is the ability to manage and control emotions and behavior in response to a situation (Zimmerman & Kinsantas, 2014). 

Why is self-regulation important? 

• Self-regulation skills help children participate in school and play.
• Young children feel emotions before they understand what those emotions mean.
• Without a full understanding of emotions, children do not know how to respond when feeling overwhelmed and can act out or become withdrawn.
• Self-regulation skills help children recognize their feelings and respond in a calm and appropriate way.
• Self-regulation is necessary for school-related activities such as following a teacher's instructions, sharing toys with friends, and having a safe body around peers.

Here are ways to promote self-regulation skills:

Mindfulness Strategies 

• Deep breaths (Practice taking deep breaths by blowing into pinwheels or blowing bubbles).
• Yoga poses (Apps like Super Stretch Kids' Yoga and games like Yogarilla are fun and engaging ways to teach yoga).

Games 

Games that involve following directions, taking turns, and controlling your body movements help teach kids self-regulation:

• Red light, green light 
• Simon says 
• Duck, duck, goose  
• Freeze dance  
• Hide and go seek  

Heavy Work  

Activating the muscles and joints can have a calming effect.

Seated Heavy Work 

• Squeezing a stress ball  
• Playing with playdoh or theraputty  
• Pulling resistance bands 

Movement Heavy Work

• Wall or chair push-ups 
• Pushing or pulling heavy objects around the room (medicine ball, laundry basket, books, etc.) 
• Jumping on a trampoline 
• Jumping jacks  
• Yoga poses  
• Animal walks (walking on hands and feet like a bear or crab, galloping like a horse, frog jumps, etc.)  

Oral Motor Heavy Work  

• Chewing on crunchy snacks 
• Drinking or blowing through a straw 
• Bracelets or necklaces that are designed for chewing 

Pretend Play  

• Pretend play allows children to act out emotions in a non-stressful environment.
• Adults can participate in pretend play with children to model self-regulation strategies.

Change the Environment and Set-Up a Cozy Corner 

• Set up a quiet corner with a bean bag or pillows for children to calm down in a less stimulating environment 
• Offer headphones if it is loud  
• Play quiet, calming music  
• Dim the lights  
• Reduce clutter in the environment  
• Provide deep pressure through giving hugs, hand squeezes, or using a weighted blanket 

Ask your occupational therapist about self-regulation programs and strategies such as the Alert Program, social stories, sensory diets, visual schedules, and zones of regulation.

Reminder: children do not need to be "regulated" all day long!  

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends at least 1 hour of unstructured, unobstructed play per day.

Resources  

• https://www.theottoolbox.com/how-to-support-self-regulation-in-preschoolers/  
• https://childdevelopment.com.au/areas-of-concern/sensory-processing/self-regulation/  
• https://theinspiredtreehouse.com/self-regulation/  
• https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/7-ways-to-teach-your-kindergartner-self-regulation/  
• https://minds-in-bloom.com/sensory-strategies-help-kids-self-regulation-classroom/  
• https://www.foothillsacademy.org/community-services/parent-education/parent-articles/self-regulation-difficulties  
• https://childmind.org/article/can-help-kids-self-regulation/  
• https://theinspiredtreehouse.com/10-calming-sensory-strategies-for-school/  
• https://www.theottoolbox.com/heavy-work-activities/  
• https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/3/e20182058/38649/The-Power-of-Play-A-Pediatric-Role-in-Enhancing 

 Articles  

• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26968457/ (Incorporating mindfulness strategies can help with behaviors and parent-child relationships.)
• https://research.aota.org/ajot/article/70/6/7006290010p1/6221/Scoping-Review-of-Self-Regulation-What-Are (Systematic review of self-regulation articles.)
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/19411243.2014.966013?casa_token=yyUfuaC_bvAAAAAA:WdlNucoN-9yv_PrkMikoV7dmdIGF0rEFc7fPra1Wgg0vgwtrHOs33q94dLKQCk9CfF_trGkT-vc4QPkW (ALERT program—children benefit from incorporating language about self-regulation into their daily routine.)
• https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X14000162 (Source for the definition of self-regulation.)

We grew up with games and toys like Lincoln Logs, Hot Wheels, Barbie Dolls, and Chutes and Ladders. When we were children, we loved playing with these toys and were oblivious to the fact we were learning important skills while playing. As we know, children love screens. We didn’t have access to screens when we were children like children have today. Screens are everywhere and it is difficult to escape them. This blog highlights different toys to help limit your child’s screen time. With present day technology being at its best, the American Academy of Pediatrics urges play as a prescription, or antidote, to screen time. Their advice: limit screen time, make time for unstructured play, and choose toys that inspire imagination.  

We’ve built a guide of go-to, educational toys that children gravitate toward:

1. The Melissa and Doug Learn to Play Piano: 

Purpose and Benefits: Teaches fine motor coordination skills, sound discrimination, core stability, listening, concentration, self-regulation, and memory.

2. Magna-Tiles

Purpose and Benefits: Encourages creative thinking, color, shape, & symmetry discrimination, mathematics, social play, and fine motor skills.

3. Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Smart Stages Piggy Bank

Purpose and Benefits: Grows and develops language in English and Spanish through numbers and songs. Features different levels to help progress learner in skills.  Uses action words and phrases such as ‘open’. Fine motor skills, color discrimination, counting, and animal recognition is also a plus!

4. Feed The Woozle

Purpose and Benefits: This Game utilizes fine & gross motor skills, body awareness, reading and word recognition, counting, turn taking, and multiple step directions.

Bonus! Cooperative game play!

5. The Learning Journey: Space Match

Purpose and Benefits: Social play, turn taking, shape & color discrimination, matching, and memory are all focuses of this game.

Bonus! The Learning Journey: My First Grab It comes in many different versions that all teach different learning aspects. Check out The Learning Journey for puzzles, numeracy, matching, and imaginative building.

The list of toys that grab attention and make learning fun is endless. Other toys to make the list:

• Kinetic Sand
• Play Doh with molds
• Train and Tracks sets
• Marble Run
• Hoot Owl Hoot
• Zingo
• Catch the Fox

These games and toys help children to continue to put building blocks of various skills upon their already existing foundation. Giving a child the opportunity to play is one of the best gifts that can be given. It is crucial that we share the joy of social interaction with children and connect with each other through play.

With spring rising from the cold, there comes a feeling of rebirth and readiness for something new. Our little blue birds are shaking away the cold by raising their arms high into the air and moving their bodies into new shapes and poses through yoga. This blog talks about the benefits of yoga for children and gives ideas to help your family try it out at home. Yoga has a rich spiritual history seeking to connect the mind and the body. These poses — originating in India — are utilized to help people strengthen and stretch their bodies, as well as focus their attention and quiet their minds.

Yoga has become popular with adults and children alike. Kids with different abilities are no different. Studies show that yoga is a great tool to improve motor coordination, self-regulation, imitation skills, and self-awareness. These are all necessary skills to help kids participate on the playground and with peers. [Please see a few research articles below if you are interested.]

Yoga does not have to be something just practiced at school. It is a great opportunity for you and your child to grow your bodies and minds, as well as your relationship. Taking a few minutes out of the day to do one pose together, or to practice breathing techniques, is a great way to support your child and your health. Here are some suggestions and resources to help your family grow into the practice of yoga.

1. Start small. All kids and adults have a variety of skills and interests. Acknowledge that it may take time to learn poses and that everyone has different interests that support their learning. A first step could be looking at/reading a kid’s yoga book, taking big breaths, watching a yoga video, or having your kids just see you in a pose. If you are unsure, look online, ask a yoga instructor, or ask your occupational or physical therapist where you should start with your child.
2. Resources. There are so many kid-friendly apps, books, videos, and blogs. Feel free to check them all out. Here are a few that I’ve used. Figure out what interests your child the most and what fits best for your lifestyle. There are a ton of resources online.
   Books – Good Morning Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Wake Up Story by Mariam Gates, You are a Lion by Taeeun Yoo
   Apps – Super Stretch Yoga (free)
   Videos – Cosmic Kids Yoga (YouTube channel with engaging and fun stories, including frozen, dinosaurs, and mermaids around yoga; some of the poses may be better suited for older kids)
3. Slow and Steady. If you get to the point of assuming positions: Great! See how long you both can hold them. Wait to add in more poses until your child really has it, then add new poses in slowly.
4. Celebrate. Once you get that pose or even attempt a new pose: celebrate. Take the time to celebrate you and your child’s body and mind power. Take a picture of your pose. Smile. Play a favorite song. Offer big hugs. Tickles. Say “Wow your body makes all kinds of cool shapes” or “I love the way you did that pose.” Do something that your child finds fun to celebrate your child’s achievement; not only to help their yoga and coordination, but also their mind and self-esteem.

Have fun growing together this spring and reach out to your team for more activities to help your children grow!

Research Resources
Radhakrishna, S., Nagarathna, R., & Nagendra, H. R. (2010). Integrated approach to yoga therapy and autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Ayurveda and integrative medicine, 1(2), 120-4.
Koenig KP, Buckley-Reen A, Garg S. Efficacy of the Get Ready to Learn yoga program among children with autism spectrum disorders: A pretest-posttest control group design. Am J Occup Ther. 2012;66:538–46.
Galantino ML, Galbavy R, Quinn L. Therapeutic effects of yoga for children: a systematic review of the literature. Pediatric Physcal Therapy. 2008;20(1):66-80,