Self-regulation is a child’s ability to manage and control their emotions and behaviors in response to various situations. This essential skill allows children to recognize and understand their feelings, helping them respond in a calm and appropriate manner. It takes time and patience for preschoolers and kindergarteners to develop self-regulation skills, as this is no simple task for young children.

The concept of self-regulation has been studied extensively over the past few decades. Initially focusing on cognitive and emotional regulation, self-regulation strategies have evolved to include sensory and behavioral aspects, offering a comprehensive approach to helping children manage their feelings and actions.

Developing self-regulation is crucial for several reasons:

  • Cognitive Development: Self-regulation helps children concentrate, follow instructions, and complete tasks efficiently.
  • Social Skills: It encourages sharing, cooperation, and empathy. These skills help children build and maintain healthy relationships with their peers. 
  • Emotional Well-being: Effective self-regulation can significantly reduce anxiety and frustration, promoting a calmer demeanor. This emotional stability is vital for overall mental health. 
  • Academic Success: Enhanced focus and engagement in learning activities lead to better performance in school. Children with strong self-regulation skills are often more successful academically.
  • Reducing Tantrums: Young children experience emotions intensely and may not fully understand them. This makes the development of self-regulation essential in preventing outbursts and fostering positive interactions.  

Encouraging self-regulation in your child will help them thrive both socially and academically, setting a foundation for a balanced and well-adjusted life. Here are eight tips for parents to support their children in developing essential self-regulation skills.

  1. Practice Mindfulness Strategies

Deep Breaths: Use pinwheels or blow bubbles to practice taking deep breaths with your child. This simple activity helps them focus and calm down. 

Yoga Poses: Download apps like Super Stretch Kids’ Yoga or play Yogarilla games to introduce fun yoga exercises. These poses can help your child manage stress and improve concentration. 

  1. Play Regulation Games

Simple Games: Red Light, Green Light. Simon Says. Duck, Duck, Goose. Freeze Dance. Hide and Seek. These classic games teach kids how to follow directions, take turns, and control their body movements. 

  1. Engage in Heavy Work Activities

Seated Heavy Work: Squeeze stress balls. Play with playdough or Thera putty. Use resistance bands. 

Movement Heavy Work: Wall or chair push-ups. Push or pull heavy objects like a medicine ball or laundry basket. Jump on a trampoline. Do jumping jacks. Perform yoga poses. Animal walks, such as bear crawls, crab walks, horse gallops, and frog jumps.

Activating muscles and joints has a calming effect and helps children manage their energy levels. 

  1. Utilize Oral Motor Heavy Work

Chewing: Offer crunchy snacks like carrots or apple slices.

Straws: Encourage drinking or blowing through a straw.

Chewable Accessories: Use chewable bracelets or necklaces designed for this purpose.

These activities provide sensory input that helps children self-soothe and focus. 

  1. Encourage Pretend Play

Role Play: Act out different emotions in a non-stressful environment. Engage with your child in pretend play to show self-regulation strategies. Pretend play allows children to explore and understand emotions safely, with guidance from adults. 

  1. Modify the Environment for Calmness

Cozy Corner: Setup: Create a quiet corner with a bean bag or pillows. Offer headphones to reduce noise. Play calming music softly. Dim the lights. Reduce visual clutter. Provide deep pressure through hugs, hand squeezes, or a weighted blanket. A calming space helps children retreat and relax when they feel overwhelmed. 

  1. Develop an Emotional Vocabulary

Teach Feelings: Help your child learn words to describe their emotions. Use emotion-themed games and storybooks to enhance their understanding. A rich emotional vocabulary allows children to express their feelings clearly and seek help when needed. 

  1. Seek Professional Support

Consultation: Reach out to an occupational therapist for specialized self-regulation programs like the Alert Program, social stories, sensory diets, visual schedules, and zones of regulation. 

Recommendation: The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests at least 1 hour of unstructured play per day to help children regulate themselves naturally. Professional guidance can provide personalized strategies and support for your child’s unique needs. 

Remember, children do not need to be “regulated” all day long!

Some challenges to getting your child self-regulated can include:

Overwhelm from Sensory Input 

Create a sensory-friendly environment with reduced stimuli.

For instance, if your child finds it difficult to concentrate when there is too much noise, try setting up a quiet space at home where they can focus on homework. You could use noise-canceling headphones or play soft, calming music to help them stay relaxed. 

Difficulty Following Instructions 

Break tasks into manageable steps and use visual aids.

If your child struggles with completing chores, break the task down into smaller steps. Instead of saying, “Clean your room,” you can say, “First, pick up your toys. Then, make your bed.” Visual aids like chore charts with pictures can also guide them through each task. 

Impulsivity and Acting Out 

Teach and practice mindfulness techniques regularly. 

To manage impulsivity, introduce mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing or simple yoga poses. Practice these techniques together as a family daily, first thing in the morning or before bed, to help your child develop better self-control over time. 

Struggles with Transitions 

Use visual schedules and timers to prepare for changes. 

If transitions between activities are a challenge, create a visual schedule that outlines the daily routine. Use timers to signal when one activity is ending, and another is starting. For example, set a timer for 5 minutes before screen time ends to prepare your child for the transition to dinner. 

Limited Emotional Vocabulary 

Regularly engage in discussions about feelings and use emotion charts. 

Encourage your child to express their feelings by integrating emotion charts into daily conversations. For instance, every evening, ask them to point to an emotion on the chart and share why they felt that way during the day. This practice helps build their emotional vocabulary and fosters open communication.

Recommended Products to Help with Self-Regulation

Pinwheels for Deep Breathing

Super Stretch Kids’ Yoga App

Stress Balls 

Theraputty

Chewable Necklaces

Weighted Blankets

Emotion Flashcards

By implementing these strategies, you will not only help your child develop essential self-regulation skills, but also foster a supportive environment for their overall growth. Remember, consistency and patience are crucial. Celebrate their progress, no matter how small, and keep encouraging them along the way. Your efforts will have a lasting impact on their ability to manage their emotions and behaviors effectively. Keep up the great work!

References 

How to Support Self-Regulation in Preschoolers – The OT Toolbox 

Self-Regulation – Kid Sense Child Development 

How to Help Kids With Self-Regulation – The Inspired Treehouse 

7 Ways to Teach Your Kindergartner Self-Regulation – Great Schools 

 

Female teacher sitting at a table with two preschool or kindergarten aged children. They are all painting.

Blue Bird Day fosters socialization, sensory regulation, and pre-academic learning in children ages 2-7 years in therapeutic rotations that simulate  preschool and kindergarten settings. Our compassionate therapists practice a relationship-based and family-centered approach, provide parent training, and collaborate on goals and individualized intensive treatment plans for your child.

We believe in a collaborative and multi-disciplinary team approach to therapy. A team of occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, dietitians, developmental therapists, behavioral therapists, physical therapists, and therapeutic assistants are created for each child to ensure child and family are fully supported and the best possible results are achieved.  

Options for individualized, group and virtual therapy sessions are available as well. 

Want to learn more or you have a specific question? Feel free to connect with us here! 

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