Mindfulness has several well-known benefits, including strengthening self-control, lowering anxiety and stress levels, improving emotional regulation skills, and improving social skills and communication. According to Juliann Garey, “Mindfulness is a meditation practice that begins with paying attention to breathing in order to focus on the here and now—not what might have been or what you’re worried could be.

The ultimate goal is to give you enough distance from disturbing thoughts and emotions to be able to observe them without immediately reacting to them.” There are many researched benefits of mindfulness practices to address emotional regulation and coping strategies among adults and children, including conditions ranging from ADHD, anxiety, autism spectrum disorder, depression, and stress.

At Blue Bird, in social-emotional learning group (SEL) social work therapists engage in a variety of mindfulness practices to target identifying emotions and coping skill strategies.  

Below I have outlined several mindfulness activities to try at home: 

Belly Buddies: 

This activity helps your child focus on their breathing and helps your child learn how to control their breathing.  

During this activity, your child will lay flat on the floor in a quiet room where your child feels the most comfortable/safe. You can use your child’s favorite small toy, stuffed animal, or something that you created together (I.e. painted rock.) Lay the item flat on your child’s tummy and have them watch the object as they take slow deep breaths in and out.   

Mindful Posing (yoga): 

One easy way for children to dip their toes into mindfulness is through body poses. To get your kids excited, tell them that doing fun poses can help them feel strong, brave, and happy. 

Have the kids go somewhere quiet and familiar, a place they feel safe. Next, tell them to try one of the following poses: 

• The Superman: this pose is practiced by standing with the feet just wider than the hips, fists clenched, and arms reached out to the sky, stretching the body as tall as possible. 
• The Wonder Woman: this pose is struck by standing tall with legs wider than hip-width apart and hands or fists placed on the hips (Karen Young, 2017). 

The Mindful Jar: 

This activity can teach children how strong emotions can take hold, and how to find peace when these strong emotions feel overwhelming. 

• First, get a clear jar (like a Mason jar) and fill it almost all the way with water. Next, add a big spoonful of glitter glue or glue and dry glitter to the jar. Put the lid back on the jar and shake it to make the glitter swirl. 

• Finally, use the following script or take inspiration from it to form your own mini-lesson: 

“Imagine that the glitter is like your thoughts when you’re stressed, mad, or upset. See how they whirl around and make it really hard to see clearly? That’s why it’s so easy to make silly decisions when you’re upset – because you’re not thinking clearly. Don’t worry this is normal and it happens in all of us (yep, grownups too). 

[Now put the jar down in front of them.] 

Now watch what happens when you’re still for a couple of moments. Keep watching. See how the glitter starts to settle and the water clears? Your mind works the same way. When you’re calm for a little while, your thoughts start to settle and you start to see things much clearer. Deep breaths during this calming process can help us settle when we feel a lot of emotions” (Karen Young, 2017). 

This exercise not only helps children learn about how their emotions can cloud their thoughts, but it also facilitates the practice of mindfulness while focusing on the swirling glitter in the jar. 

Emotions Flashcards: 

A great way to get your child thinking about emotions is by talking about them! These emotions flashcards are a fun and easy way to help your child start to identify emotions. 

Resources:  

Ackerman, Courtney E. “25 Fun Mindfulness Activities for Children and Teens (+Tips!).” PositivePsychology.com, 4 July 2019, positivepsychology.com/mindfulness-for-children-kids-activities/. 

Garey, Juliann, and Marie Claire. “The Power and Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation.” Child Mind Institute, childmind.org/article/the-power-of-mindfulness/. 

Being patient and maintaining an understanding approach to children can be challenging, particularly when they are having highly emotional moments. Have you ever felt like your child is just trying to “push your buttons”? Our reactions to these moments are so powerful to our children and will shape how they respond to their emotions. Finding a calm way to respond to their emotional needs while managing your own emotions can be difficult but it can also model and teach our children different ways of handling challenging emotions. This blog gives great insight on the importance of our reactions to challenging emotions and how we can support our children with these feelings.

Think about the last time you faced an emotionally challenging situation. Did anyone tell you “It’s fine, everything will get better” when you did NOT feel fine? Who did you turn to when you needed emotional support? How did they give that to you? Typically, we trust people who “get it” and don’t judge us or our emotions but seek to understand our perspectives. These trusted friends, family members, or coworkers can emotionally hold our thoughts and concerns while helping us to sort through our feelings and find our own solutions on our terms. 

For our children, their emotions can feel equally big, challenging, and sometimes overwhelming and they can benefit from adults who “get it”. But this can be hard for adult family and caregivers. Sometimes we try to limit their emotions, to “shut it down” when it’s too much for us, or to move them to feelings like calm or happy that feel safer to us. Other times we may take their feelings personally or feel defensive that they are mad/frustrated/sad/disappointed at us. When we tell our children they are fine, to stop crying, or to put on a happy face when they do not feel happy, we are limiting their emotional vocabulary, discouraging them from understanding all of their feelings, and letting them know we are only comfortable with limited feelings. Without an adult to help them develop their emotional language, help them to understand all of their emotions, or be comfortable with all of their feelings, children can feel lost and unsupported during challenging times.  

By focusing on how the child feels about the situation, you can give yourself some room to examine the situation with less emotional baggage. For instance, a meltdown in the grocery store when you’re trying to get home to make dinner can feel like “Argh! Again! Why do you always do this to me at the checkout?” From the child’s perspective, it may feel like “How much longer do I have to stand here and wait at the checkout?! I want to touch all of the magazines, grab those balloons, and eat all of these candies but Dad says no! Why does he always say no when I want stuff?? I want to go home now and eat dinner!” And now we have two emotionally frustrated and exhausted people stuck in the check out line fighting one another over things they can’t control. 

A shift in perspective might look like:

Dad: Sweetheart, you have been such a good helper at the store. Thank you for helping me pick out the apples. Now we have to wait in line for the checkout but, as soon as we are done, we can go home and you can have a snack.  

Child: Can I have that chocolate bar? And that gum? And that balloon? 

Dad: Don’t they look delicious? I am hungry. Are you hungry too? 

Child: Yes! I want a snack now! 

Dad: It is so hard to wait when our bodies want to eat. Feeling hungry can be hard. But let’s think about what you want for a snack. Is there anything we are buying today that you want to eat for a snack? 

In this scenario, Dad is focused on using positive language to highlight the child’s role as a helper, understanding the child’s perspective, putting words like “hungry” to their feelings, and respecting them while also redirecting them to choices he approves of.  

In times of intense emotions, it can help to take a physical step back, make sure everyone is safe, and then take a moment to breathe deeply and gather your thoughts. Calming yourself first allows you to think about a broader range of responses. Responding from your first initial emotional response may limit you to using the same approaches over and over. With more tools, you can look at your child’s perspective, help them to identify their emotions, calm them through a hug or cuddle, and help them find a solution. Getting caught up in emotional power struggles is exhausting for everyone involved and limits teaching opportunities for how to handle emotions in healthful ways. Taking a moment to calm ourselves allows us to model different approaches, stay open to thinking about our children’s feelings and experiences, and avoid feeling like our buttons are getting pushed. 

Transitions are a constant in everyone’s lives. Some transitions are exciting and wonderful while others can be stressful or confusing. Some transitions are major life changes while other transitions happen throughout the day, like putting away toys to get ready for a meal. When we are very little we transition from being carried everywhere to crawling and exploring the big world. As we get older, we have to transition to new teachers or we move to a new home. As adults, we transition when we go to college, form new romantic relationships, or start a new job. Depending on how resilient we are, how supportive our family and friends are, and how positive the change is, can impact how we react to them. Some transitions, like choosing a major in college, we choose for ourselves. However, most transitions are made for children — beyond their control — and may cause them to behave in challenging ways. 

For daily transitions, such as getting ready for school or going to bed, most children benefit from having daily routines. These routines help children to feel that they can predict what will happen and are more likely to maintain their emotional regulation. Using a visual schedule that shows each step of the routine can be very helpful, as it breaks down the routine and gives children clear expectations. Having a preview and countdown between activities can also help. For example, “You’re finishing your Lego house. Next, we get to have your favorite soup for lunch! In two minutes we are going to wash our hands and get ready for lunch.” Using a timer or giving a 10-second countdown to the transition can also be helpful. Other children respond well to songs that help them prepare for the next activity. Noticing and praising children’s abilities to help clean up, get ready for the next activity, or otherwise transition reinforces your expectations while also helping your child to internalize their sense that they can make these transitions well.  

Bigger life changes can be made less stressful for our children by supporting their resilience, helping them view themselves positively during times of change, and giving them opportunities to communicate their feelings about these changes. In addition, when your child is facing transitions beyond their control, it helps them to have other aspects of their life that they can control. They may not be able to control having a new schedule or morning routine, but can they choose what cereal they have for breakfast, what (weather appropriate) clothing they wear, or what music they listen to on the car ride? Making their transition as predictable as possible is also helpful in giving children a sense of control and an ability to anticipate what will come next. Using a visual schedule for a new routine or a calendar to count down to a big moment, such as a big move, can also help children feel prepared. If your child is easily anxious, you may want to limit how long the calendar is if they become more nervous or worried when they anticipate a change. During a major life transition such as a new baby in the family or moving to a new home, having an important role for your child will also give them a positive identity and sense of being part of this change. Talking about what they can teach the baby, how they can be a helpful older sibling, or where they want to put their furniture in their new bedroom helps them feel special and needed.  

Similarly, offering children opportunities to share their thoughts and feelings on these changes can help make the transition easier. When it is a calm moment, ask what they are thinking about these changes. For children who prefer to use visuals to communicate, ask them to draw pictures of how they are feeling. Or look at pictures of different emotional expressions and ask your child to show you which one looks like how they feel. Reading a story of a child in a similar situation can also help children develop their emotional vocabularies to think about their own feelings.  

Helping children handle transitions and life changes are so important for their development. Teaching them that they can handle change and that they are valuable during these transitions helps them learn confidence, resilience, and internal strength. Learning to manage transitions also helps children throughout their lives as they can better manage stress, become more flexible in their thinking, and develop skills to handle new situations.

MORE RESOURCES 

Daily Transitions

Tips for Daily Transitions

Transitional Challenges

TO REVIEW

Transition Time

Back to School Transition  Tips

Cope with Changing Routines