Watching your child stand alone on the playground brings a heavy ache to your chest. You want to see your child laughing, sharing toys, and forming bonds with their peers. It’s possible!

To have a friend, you need to be a friend.

Through direct instruction, regular practice, and positive reinforcement, all children can learn how to find companions and be good friends.

Families can teach these abilities at home by encouraging structured interactions and by collaborating with schools to create meaningful social opportunities for kids. There are ample opportunities here in Chicago.

With years of experience in early childhood therapeutic education, our team knows exactly how to guide your family through this process.

We believe everyone deserves a friend. This article will give you some insight about friendship for neurodiverse children.

If you would like more personalized insights, contact us today! We are here to support you every step of the way.

The Value of Friendship

Developing relationships goes far beyond simply having someone to play with on a Saturday afternoon. When children connect with their peers, they unlock incredible benefits across every area of their development.

Emotional Growth

Learning to interact with others fosters emotional maturity. Children begin to understand and share the feelings of those around them. This shared experience builds immense personal confidence and internal pride.

Developing empathy and caring for others allows your child to look outside themselves and recognize the emotions of their peers.

Most importantly, forming friendships creates a deep sense of belonging. Knowing they have a place within a group gives children a secure foundation to explore the world.

Social Skill Development

Friendships provide the ultimate practice ground for communication. Practicing these abilities in real situations teaches children how to interact naturally. They learn to resolve conflicts peacefully when disagreements arise over a game or a toy.

Understanding social rules through genuine experience is far more effective than reading about them in a book. Children also build flexibility and learn methods for solving problems when they have to compromise with a buddy.

Academic Benefits

You might be surprised to learn that having friends directly impacts school performance. Children show increased motivation to participate in school activities when they know their friends will be there. They demonstrate better focus when they feel socially connected and secure in their environment.

Learning from peers in natural ways happens every day in the classroom. Furthermore, having a strong social network leads to reduced anxiety about school environments, making mornings much easier for your entire family.

Lifelong Skills

The social foundations your child builds today will serve them forever. They are building a foundation for future relationships in adulthood. They learn to advocate for their needs clearly and respectfully.

Developing resilience when facing challenges ensures they can bounce back from social setbacks. Ultimately, they are understanding how to be a good friend to others, which is a trait that will enrich their entire life.

How Schools Can Help Build Friendships

Schools are perfect places for children to practice interacting with others because they offer structure with clear expectations. They provide safety with adult supervision and consistency with daily routines. Children also have countless opportunities to interact with the same peers regularly.

Questions to Ask Your Teachers

Open communication with educators is vital. Consider asking the following questions to maximize your efforts.

• “What social opportunities exist during the school day?”
• “Which classmates seem to share the interests of my child?”
• “How can we practice social abilities at home that will help at school?”
• “What does a successful interaction look like for my child?”
• “How can we communicate about the social progress of my child?”

Information to Share With the School

Teachers can support your child much better when they have the right information. Share details about the interests and strengths your child possesses. Explain what social situations work well at home. Describe the signs that show your child is overwhelmed and needs a break. Share strategies that help your child calm down effectively. Finally, detail the communication style and specific needs your child relies on daily.

Creating Consistency Between Environments

Children thrive when their environments align. Use similar language at home and at school for social rules. Practice abilities at home that will be directly useful in the classroom. Celebrate the same types of social successes across both settings. Share strategies that work well in both locations to ensure everyone uses the same approach.

Play Dates

Taking the first step toward arranging interactions can feel daunting. However, setting up Chicago playdates for your child can be a smooth and enjoyable process when you plan ahead.

Collaborate with teachers to identify potential friends with shared interests who are suitable for the age of your child. Start with short sessions lasting fifteen to thirty minutes to match shorter attention spans.

Use familiar spaces like the local library, a quiet corner of the classroom, or a neighborhood park. In our city, visiting accessible spots like the quiet areas of Lincoln Park or a sensory friendly morning at the Chicago Childrens Museum can provide a wonderful backdrop.

Plan simple activities your child already enjoys, such as drawing or building with blocks. Having adults nearby offers flexible support without making the children feel crowded.

Successful Interactions

Structure is the secret ingredient for positive peer interactions. Clear start and end times are essential. Plan structured activities like collaborative art projects, games that require solving problems, or fun discussion prompts.

Always provide a quiet space for downtime if the excitement becomes too much. Establish practical rules for group interaction that everyone agrees upon before the fun begins. Most importantly, celebrate progress. Praise your child when they take leadership roles, show cooperation, or maintain sustained attention.

Sensory Considerations

Many children process the world differently, and sensory input plays a massive role in their comfort. Schedule activities in places with fewer sensory triggers when possible. Provide a calm space for breaks and a safe retreat from crowds. Consider the lighting, noise levels, and textures in the room, and always offer alternative options. Choose activities aligned with their sensory preferences, such as quiet reading or tactile building projects.

Communication Supports

Clear communication bridges the gap between peers. Use direct and respectful language while avoiding confusing idioms. Visual aids or digital schedules can help with planning the day and reducing anxiety. Give extra processing time and frequently check to ensure everyone understands the plan. Teach and rehearse simple scripts like “Can I join your group?” and “That was a good idea, here is mine.”

Conversation Starters

Sometimes finding the right words is the hardest part. Write simple phrases on index cards to give your child a helpful reference.

• “What do you like to do?”
• “Want to build something together?”
• “That looks cool!”
• “Thanks for playing with me!”

Steps for Solving Problems

Conflict happens in every friendship. Create a visual reminder to help your child navigate disagreements.

1. Stop and take a deep breath.
2. Say exactly how you feel.
3. Listen closely to your friend.
4. Think of a solution together.
5. Try again or take a break.

Practice Games for Skill Building

Games are powerful tools for teaching hidden social rules. Play games like Red Light Green Light to build impulse control. Play Simon Says to practice following directions closely. Use simple board games to enforce taking turns. Play a game of charades focused on emotions to improve the recognition of feelings in others.

Every Child Is Different

Remember that every child develops at their own distinct pace. Some children will pick up social cues quickly, while others need much more time and repeated practice. Some children will thrive with many friends, while others will prefer one or two close relationships. Both paths are completely normal and perfectly valid.

Consider reaching out to your Blue Bird Day team for further advice if you notice persistent challenges. Seek professional guidance if your child seems very isolated or withdrawn from their peers.

Ask for help if they express sadness about not having friends. Intervene if social situations consistently cause extreme distress. Reach out if you are not seeing progress after several months of consistent support. Finally, seek assistance if social challenges are negatively affecting their learning or daily activities.

Next Steps for Your Family

Taking action today sets the foundation for tomorrow. Here is a clear guide to help you move forward.

This week:

1. Talk with your child about friendship using simple and clear terms.
2. Contact the teacher to ask about available social opportunities.
3. Identify one specific social skill to practice at home.
4. Plan one highly structured and low stress social activity.

This month:

1. Try a structured interaction with a peer from school.
2. Start using visual supports to prepare for social situations.
3. Connect with another family who shares your developmental goals.
4. Celebrate small social successes with your child using specific praise.

This year:

1. Build consistent routines that include regular social opportunities.
2. Develop a strong support network of families and school staff.
3. Help your child develop at least one meaningful peer relationship.
4. Create positive memories around friendship and social connection.

Time is passing quickly, and the social expectations placed on children grow more complex with each passing grade level. Waiting to address these social gaps can lead to deeper isolation and missed opportunities for vital emotional growth.

We encourage you to reach out to our team of dedicated professionals right away to begin crafting a personalized plan that will transform the social future of your child.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How can I help my neurodiverse child start conversations and make friends?
Begin by practicing simple, direct conversation starters at home, such as, “What do you like to do?” Role play various social scenarios and provide visual aids like cue cards. Encourage short, structured playdates to build comfort and confidence over time.

2. What if my child struggles during playdates or social activities in Chicago?
It is common for neurodiverse children to need extra support during new experiences. Select sensory-friendly locations such as quiet parks or community spaces in Chicago, prepare your child in advance with a plan and visuals, and always have a calm space available for breaks.

3. When should I seek professional support for my child’s social development?
Reach out to a professional if you notice your child is consistently withdrawn, expresses ongoing sadness about friendships, or is not showing progress after several months of practice. Early, specialized support can strengthen your family’s approach and give your child the best chance to form meaningful connections.

Turn-taking is an important skill for children to learn as they will use it throughout their lives.  There are several ways to promote turn-taking behavior amongst children.  Some techniques to practice turn-taking behavior will take more practice than others, however, they are all equally as important in promoting the skill of turn-taking. 

1. Social stories:  Introducing the idea to your children about turn-taking through stories can be beneficial.  These stories that can be created on the topic of turn-taking can break down what turn-taking is and give examples for the children to be exposed to.  An example of a social story on turn-taking could walk you through a story of a child and their sibling/peer playing their favorite game together.  It would describe how first it is one child’s turn to roll the dice and then it is the other child’s turn to roll the dice.  This story would not only demonstrate the act of turn-taking but also the positive emotions of the children playing the game together. 
2. Modeling: Utilizing modeling to demonstrate to your children turn-taking while playing is another useful technique to promote turn-taking behaviors.  An example of this could be you and another adult sharing a ball that bounces.  You will say the words “My turn” and bounce the ball a few times.  Then you will look at the other adult and say “Your turn” and proceed to hand the ball to that person.  You can also incorporate modeling into daily life activities like watching television.  You can use the remote first while saying “My turn” and then a few minutes later hand it to the other person and say “Your turn”. 
3. Language and Gestures: You can emphasize the language used when taking turns (my turn, your turn).  By putting an emphasis on these two phrases, you are putting meaning behind them and teaching it to the children the more you use it.  You can also utilize gestures and put your hand on your chest to show that it is “my turn” and also point to/touch their chest when signaling it is “your turn”. 
4. Incorporating games: Incorporate multiple-person games into your day to promote the practice of turn-taking.  These games could be simple ones like throwing a ball back and forth or I spy to more complex ones in which you need to wait longer to have a turn again (Candy Land, Trouble etc.). 

Promoting Turn-Taking With Peers. (2017, March 28). Retrieved from https://www.cdchk.org/parent-tips/promoting-turn-taking-with-peers/

Children gain a lot of knowledge and skill when in a peer rich environment that supports their growing self-efficacy. Peers have the ability to support children in reaching their full potential and provide them opportunities to practice social skills within a safe and nurturing environment. This blog is talks about how and why peer interaction plays an important role in your child’s growth and development. Children benefit from peer models because they are more likely to believe they can complete a task or play a simple game when observing a successful model similar to themselves, thus promoting the child’s self-efficacy. 

Self-efficacy is the belief that you are capable of performing a task or managing a situation; it is about learning how to preserve and try again when presented with a challenge. When children equate success to internal factors, they develop a sense of mastery, which in return reinforces a stronger self-efficacy belief system. A child with higher self-efficacy has more motivation to attend and participate, can be less anxious in less-preferred/challenging situations, and demonstrates greater resilience and flexibility towards challenges. For many children, early preschool experiences can be their first time in a structured setting with teachers and groups of children. Blue Bird Day provides the opportunity to learn to share, follow instructions, and begin the foundation for learning, with individualized accommodations and support systems. Within the nurturing and warm environment of Blue Bird Day, children are supported with learning through their experiences with adults and peers. The Blue Bird Day staff support children with developing early self-esteem and self-efficacy necessary for social-emotional development by providing them many experiences to practice their skills alongside like peers. 

The Developmental Therapists at Blue Bird Day take pride in supporting each child with practicing and acquiring the social skills necessary to engage in structured play sessions with peers. These peer interactions are important for children to learn and practice social pragmatic language, how to open and close interactions, self-esteem, and overall social-emotional developmental. Developmental Therapists tailor lessons to each child’s specific language ability and learning style. This allows the Developmental Therapists to guide the child through navigating peer relationships and interactions with the appropriate amount of support. During the first week of the Fall session, Developmental Therapists support each child with learning their new peers through an interactive picture book of the entire class. During circle time, the children are supported with singing Hello to each friend. Each child also has the opportunity to look in the mirror and observe/reflect on their own personal characteristics including eye color, hair color, gender, etc. The Developmental Therapists use these activities to narrate for each child similarities and differences while supporting the group with visually attending to their peers and/or commenting. As well, the Developmental Therapists use these activities to nurture a child’s curiosity and motivation to learn, not just about themselves, but about the people within their environment.  

Peers have the ability to impact a child’s learning because peers do not have a position of authority over one another. But for some children, acquiring the skills and knowledge necessary for interacting positively and successfully with peers can be a challenge. Young children learn positive social skills through the natural process of observing and engaging in social interactions with peers. Blue Bird Day thrives on the importance of promoting children’s participation in social interactions through the individualized and supportive environment, in hopes of promoting their overall self-esteem and self-efficacy to tackle future social interactions. 

Socializing with other children is such an important part of development but can be a challenge for our children who process their world a little differently. Check out these tips below to promote success at any playdate!

Have your playdate be the major event for that day. Peers can be unpredictable and navigating those social situations can be quite a challenge. Help set your child up for success by allowing time to prepare and decompress before and after the playdate. See the bottom of this article for a sample sensory diet.

Bring snacks! Making sure your child is fed, has slept well, and is feeling well prior to your date. Playing with friends can be hard work, so making sure your child is up for it is step one for success!

Pre-determine where your playdate will be. Help prepare your child by talking about it a few days or weeks prior, showing pictures of the child/children they will be playing with and the location it will take place.

Try to limit the number of children involved in the playdate. One on one is ideal for an initial playdate. Add in siblings or additional peers as your child becomes more comfortable with peer interactions.

Pick your child’s play partners with purpose. Try to find a predictable peer who is interested or able to engage in the same type of play as your child.

Be aware of the environment of the playdate. If your child is typically sensitive to loud noises or crowds, consider holding the playdate in a familiar, more controlled environment.

Practice games or play ideas with your child prior to your playdate to promote ideation. Learning how to play a new game AND engage in social problem solving (sharing, turn-taking, etc.) can be overwhelming. Bring along a favorite game or activity if the playdate is not at your house to give your child an idea. Work on challenging one skill at a time. Once your child is successful with the first couple of playdates, you can try something new!

Pair gestures with verbal output (gesturing by tapping your hand to your chest while saying “my turn”) can help your child initiate communication during peer interactions. You can then use this same gesture during a playdate to remind your child how to ask and support that interaction, promoting self-advocacy skills and independence.

Teach your child some simple strategies to resolve common social conflicts, such as offering a toy to trade when asking for a toy that a friend is already playing with. Practicing these types of conflicts with you, a predictable and familiar adult, can help your child learn and remember these strategies. They may need some reminders from you at the moment but can eventually start to utilize these strategies all by themselves!

For a playdate with a new peer or in a new place, be an active play partner with your child. Use a strategy that we call “scaffolding,” where you provide a lot of support initially, fading those supports as your child is successful. Don’t forget to provide LOTS of praise to your child when they are able to engage with peers successfully. This will help build your child’s confidence and comfort with peers.

Bring along a just-in-case bag (check our sensory kit blog for ideas) and set up a way for your child to ask for a break prior to going on the playdate.

Finally, have fun! Playdates can be a great time for you to socialize as well.

Sample Sensory Diet for Playdate

Before the playdate:

• Provide deep pressure o bear hugs, wrap tightly in a blanket, squeezes to arms and legs o carrying/pushing heavy items, crawling, or rolling

• Play calming or relaxing music in the car or background

• Limit screen time

During the Playdate:

Keep an eye on your child for signs that they are reaching their threshold. Increased wiggling or difficulty sitting still, increase in rough and tumble play, or resistance to things that are typically easy for them can be signs that your child needs a break. When this happens:

• Provide deep pressure in a calming, quiet environment away from others to help.

• Use a quick guided mediation or quiet music to help reset After the Playdate:

• Allow your child some self-directed play and downtime.

• Talk with your child about how the playdate went, providing praise for things that went well. If there were challenges, talk together about how that made them feel and potential strategies they could use in the future.

Talk to your child’s team for specific strategies for you and your child!